Strings
041516
Closure can be a little scary. You just end it there. You are no longer affected by your broken hearted song playlist. You are no longer having hopes that things will get better tomorrow. You accept that it is over and end it. You end it. Period.
Like my relationship with the others. My friends. My ex. Myself. I all end it. I am no longer affected by the guilt of my past. I am no longer having this idea that someday things will get better with these relationships. I all end it.
And by doing that, I free myself from these strings. It is the concept that people are interconnected with each other through with these invisible strings. It’s like a web. My goal is not to abruptly remove myself from this web, for it will create a massive disturbia with the people around me, but rather just slowly slip away so that they will never notice that I evaporate and disappear from this world. From my life.
It is a freedom. These strings keep pulling me back to the ground whenever I plan to leave. But now, I end it. A wonderful closure.
Although it can be painful at some time, like on how I let the hunger for intimacy be lost in me. I stop myself from having this wild dreams about romantic relationships and the like. It is letting the need within you famish. I tell myself whenever I’m falling to be with someone, “My future is no more. I will be leaving soon.” There is no point in building another relationship when you are about to leave, right?
Maybe this is a selfish act but I just want to rest now and let go. I’m too tired with all of this. The stings itself break from all the pressure from the very start and I’m just here cutting what is left.
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.